This is a guest post by Emily Geizer, creator of Child Perspective, the site parents turn to for simple and effective parenting solutions. You can contact Emily directly through the site to ask any specific parenting questions. She is also offering a FREE parenting e-course, called A Crash Course in Mindful Parenting. Read more about the course and sign-up here.
Family meetings can revolutionize family dynamics. Weekly meetings help families to stay connected, keep kids involved in decisions and plans, and create an intentional space to discuss troubling issues or behavior. It’s beneficial for small and large families alike.
Family meetings will look different for every family and every aged child. The topics will be different and you can expect the organization (or lack thereof) to vary too. I have two young children, so our family meetings were initially set in motion to create a well-established habit. Kind of like a placeholder. While these meetings are mildly productive at this stage, I know there will be other phases down the road when they will feel like an absolute necessity.
One fantastic topic for a family meeting is the family budget. A new or adjusted budget will affect the entire family, so invite everyone’s participation. Approach the conversation with enthusiasm and curiosity! If you have older children, you can discuss their spending needs with them. If your children are younger, you can encourage their participation by giving them some choices, “would you rather go out to breakfast or go ice skating this weekend?” Think creatively, to bring some fun into the idea of a budget. Older kids will enjoy a competition. Try having them compete to save the most amount of money. Turn this into a math game for the young and old alike.
Benefits of family meetings:
• keeps lines of communication open
• intentional space to express discontentment in a productive way
• builds family connection and unity
• develops problem-solving skills
• builds self-esteem in children to have input in their day-to-day lives
• space to announce big family decisions
• time to discuss serious family issues, brainstorm ideas, and come up with solutions
Suggestions for conducting a family meeting:
1. It’s never to late to start, but will be easier to initiate when children are young.
2. Establish a specific time when all family members will be present.
3. Tell children that you are going to begin to hold meetings to share what is going on in everyone’s life.
4. Parents should be co-moderators in the beginning (depending on the age of children, you can designate a new leader and secretary every week).
5. Set some basic guidelines for speaking, listening, not interrupting, honesty, etc.
6. Allow everyone to have a turn to speak.
7. Keep the meetings relatively short (especially with young kids) and maintain a calm, compassionate space.
8. Create a method for covering all topics. The “go around” method works well. Go around the table to give everyone an opportunity to respond to the topic. Some families begin by complimenting each family member, then raising issues, then problem-solving. Choose a system that works best for you.
Does your family have family meetings? Do you think you might start?
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