I was debating what to write about for Mom Monday. Since I’m not at home, I’m not being “mom” right now. Of course I’m always a mother, it’s a huge part of my identity, but being while being by myself is something wonderful, and amazing, it’s also something I have not experienced for this length of time since becoming a mom. That’s 12 years, 13 if you count pregnancy without a full day to myself ever. Nearly 6 of those years I was nursing.
When I became a mom for the first time I was a very young 21, and I threw myself fully into being the best mom I could. As we had more children I realized how much being a mother means you have to give of yourself. You don’t just share your body with your child for 9 months. You share your self and a part of your heart with them for the rest of your life.
Those early months of being a mother can be tough. Thankfully I had my son at a Birth Center where they ran a new mother’s group which I started attending when he was just 5 days old. I learned so much, and felt so embraced and loved in that group of women. One of the things that had the biggest impact on me was seeing other moms nurse. I knew I would breastfeed. There was no question about that for me, but seeing them I learned new ways to hold the baby, new ways to get the baby to latch one, and so much more. Why was there no doubt?
- My mom nursed my sister and I back when it wasn’t cool.
- I was (and am) a bit of a granola hippie, so natural is best, and some of the ingredients in formula is plain scary.
- We had little money, so bottlefeeding at the tune of $1,000+ a year wasn’t going to happen.
How does this relate to personal finance?
Breastfeeding relates to centsible personal finance because living within our means, and really well below them, is the key to giving families time to adjust to having a new baby and establish a breastfeeding relationship.
One of the reasons I was able to nurse for so long with each of my children was that we took the time to establish a good nursing relationship in the early weeks. With my oldest we had no major obligations (no mortgage, no car payments, etc.) so we were able to live off of one small income. With my other children I was a stay at home mom which involves many sacrifices for our family. It’s not always easy, but it’s always been worth it.
It also relates to personal finance because bottlefeeding is just more expensive, but the cost doesn’t end with the cost of bottles and formula.
The True Cost of Formula Feeding
I mentioned the $1,000+ number above as the cost to the family, but CNN ran an article titled “Lack of breastfeeding costs lives, billions of dollars” that shares real cost of formula feeding. The study found that if 80-90% of US women nursed until 4-6 months 911 lives and $13 billion dollars would be saved. EVERY YEAR. That’s right over 900 children AND $13,000,000 could be saved each year by the simple act of breastfeeding your infant. Currently 14% of moms nurse until 6 months of age according to the latest statistics.
Keep in mind this is just a US study, once you start talking about third world countries with little access to clean drinking water, and impoverished people who can not afford formula statistics are dreadfully worse that a child who is not breastfed will survive.
Barriers to Breastfeeding
I know there are reasons women can’t breastfeed. My oldest daughter has a genetic disorder which made processing milk sugar (whether breast or cow) impossible. She had to be fed soy formula, which broke my heart, but taught me understanding that not everyone has it easy.
Some women work extremely hard to establish a breastfeeding relationship, or lose their supply due to their work schedule, and their inability to pump milk at work (whether it is through access to a safe, clean place to pump or the inability to produce for the pump).
Many women are obligated to work to support their families, and family leave in the US is an absolute joke. 6 weeks for many women, but only IF they meet certain requirements. Otherwise women must use vacation days, or go without pay.
Breastfeeding: What you can do to help
If you are a mom or will be one in the future consider breastfeeding. Get the support you need early. Read books, talk to other moms who nurse, find your local La Leche League meeting.
If you are a woman without kids, with grown children, or a man, please do what you can to support and encourage the women in your life to breastfeed. Share the study with them. Buy them books on nursing. Get the phone number of a lactation consultant. Bring them a glass of water when they are nursing. Don’t ask them to cover up, or go somewhere else to nurse when they are in public.
How do you feel about nursing? If you have kids did were you able to breastfeed?
Kelly
I have breastfed all of my babies. I think a big key for this was the support of my well educated sister who breastfed before me and had a great deal of education and experience before I became a mommy. This was key to have someone to ask “is this normal”. I am blessed that I was able to nurse all of my babies for at least one year. Support is extremely important in this process. I have supported my friends as much as I could when they were going through the process of starting nursing.
Little House, that sounds amazing! So many young women have no experience with babies, I had practically none.
What made you want to work with a lactation consultant? I don't think I even knew they existed at that age.
Sheila, that's fantastic that you had them both at home, and nursed for so long. In that time period it was even less likely than today.
I never experienced pain in the early days, but did as my children got older. I had mastitis twice and it was no picnic, thankfully I got over it with lots of nursing and fluids.
Lactation consultants vary greatly so finding one ahead of time is a fantastic idea.
What a difficult struggle you had!
PPD is very difficult. I think the key for me was having a lot of support in place before I had my first child. I didn't have PPD, but I know I had the support of the other moms in my group, and my midwives. I wonder if your OB stayed in touch and asked about PPD at all? At the birth center I was at they took it very seriously.
I'm not saying that would have definitely helped, but now that you've been through it setting up a support system while you are pregnant or even beforehand would be a fantastic way to make sure you get help ASAP.
I have to say, I commend and applaud every woman that breastfeeds for any length of time. Every bit helps.
I would highly recommend checking into the resources at the Postpartum Depression Center in Philadelphia, PA. They can recommend someone in your local area, and were a huge help to many people I know.
I would love to hear from other moms who dealt with PPD, since I have no experience with it.
Right out of college, I went to work for a lactation consultant. It was an amazing experience that I thoroughly enjoyed. I was in awe of the dedication the mothers had to their babies. I also enjoyed holding them, weighing them, and rocking the very colicky ones :). I haven't had the experience to be a mother myself (I keep putting it off, and putting it off….), but if I do ever get to experience it, I will be a breast feeder the whole way!
I had my children at home and breastfed both of them. My first one was solely breastfed for over 6 months, almost a year as I recall. After solid food was introduced, he nursed at nap and bedtime until he was almost 2. Because of my situation, I didn't nurse my second child as long (9 months), and she started eating solid food at 4 months, I think. Breastfeeding for me was painful for several weeks (I had a leather watchband I'd bite down on), but once I got over that (and the mastitis, too), it was a lot easier. They didn't have lactation coaches when I had kids, but I think that would be great to consult one prior to giving birth so you can get your body ready.
I had my first child in August 2009. I fully intended to breastfeed although I was adopted and formula fed.
I breastfed for 2 1/2 weeks and switched to formula. I really wanted to breastfeed, but an unexpected battle with PPD made it very difficult. I finally decided (after days and days of feeling like a complete failure) that I had to do what felt best for my family which was to take the pressure of being “perfect” by breastfeeding. I certainly didn’t have any extreme medical issues with breastfeeding, but I did have slightly low production and while my daughter latched on ok, she was very inconsistent.
While there are certainly options out there for help, when a new mom is dealing with the combination of PPD and their world being turned upside down from motherhood I'm not sure I had to strength to reach out for breastfeeding help.
I know the research about breastfeeding and its many benefits, but I also feel like the pressure to nurse is so much that some women, like myself, just plain can't handle it. As I type, this seems to come across kinda 'baby-ish' but when you are battling depression, it truly isn't. I plan to try again with the next child, but I certainly don't want other women going through what I did to feel the pressure of the stereotype of choosing not to breastfeed.
I'm curious if any other moms battling PPD struggled with the same dilemma.