Quitting work to stay home with young children can be a decision filled with a huge range of emotions. Feelings of guilt about leaving your employment, disappointment, excitement, nervousness, and joy.
Transitioning into parenthood (or adding to your family) is a big transition in and of itself, add on top deciding to become a stay at home parent and it’s a recipe for major upheaval.
I began staying at home with my children after my 2nd child was born. I found these tips through my own experience, and others I wish we had done to make the transition to becoming a stay at home parent easier for both my husband and I.
photo credit: Amanda Truss /clash
Date Your Spouse
Transitions can cause emotions to run high, especially when you add lack of sleep, babies crying, whining toddlers, or financial stress. Make sure you take time for one another. While getting out of the house may not be an option I’ve shared some fun and frugal at-home date night ideas as well. The key is to just make time to be together without any distractions. Date day during naptime with an infant can be a great way to connect without missing out on much needed sleep.
Set Boundaries for Both Parents
Make sure you discuss with your spouse what their expectations are when you begin staying home, as well as what your needs and expectations are. When you were working full time you may have had take out or split dinner duties, but now your spouse thinks since your home it will be easier for you to cook dinner. This may be a source of tension if not understood beforehand, talk about the roles you’ll each take on and know that the baby and kids usually come first (that’s the whole reason you are staying at home after all!)
Make sure to re-evaluate your roles every once in awhile (maybe every 3 months) because as the kids grow older, and your needs shift you may find you can take on more household duties, but need a break once a week from the dinner and bedtime routine.
Take Time Out for Yourself
If you are with the kids all day some days you need to take a time out for yourself, whether that is an evening walk around the block, a trip to the grocery store, or an evening out with a girlfriend. Make sure to take time to nourish yourself and replenish yourself so that you can be more centered and balanced parent. This also gives the parent who is working a chance to be fully in the role of caregiver. Make sure you the working spouse gets some time off too so they can hang out with friends or pursue their hobbies.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of becoming a stay at home parent where we’ll tackle the cents and dollars of being a one income family.
Brittany
Brittany is a staff writer at The Centsible Life. She is a stay at home mom to 4 kids under 6 (can you say busy?), and Kelly’s sister. Prior to her career as a mom, Brittany worked in the banking industry.
Business Cash Advance says
Being a stay-at-home mom brings a lot of changes, as this post
points out. What I love, however, is that this post gives ways to
nourish yourself as a SAHM so that you can be energized to provide what
is needed of you by your family.
Jon--Free Money Wisdom says
It is commendable that you stay at home with your kids. My wife will one day do the same. It is the most honorable and sacrificial job you can or will ever do. It is the one that gives the most benefits….you’re molding the future-what can be more important?
FA Guys says
This is a great post, and you bring up some very important points. Often, the parent that chooses to stay at home ends up with more work that the parent who keeps their day job. After all, taking care of kids is anything but a 9 - 5. I agree that it is extremely important to take time out for hobbies. Sometimes, hobbies can even turn into to extra cash. These days, there are plenty of ways to make a little money working from home and extra income is always helpful.
Rente-doorlopendkrediet says
Great post! I’m going to share it on my fb with a link to this page.. 🙂
rente-doorlopendkrediet
Great tips! I think it is very important to talk about roles before doing this. You are right-when one parent is home, it seems logical to give them all of the at-home duties. Talk about overwhelming!
Brittany says
Thanks Julie!
Brittany says
So true Tara , we all need to say “I appreciate you and all your hard work.” often!
Great post with excellent tips. Should be shared with everyone considering staying home. Thanks Brittany!
Tara@riceandbeanslife says
I love these ideas. As a stay at home mom myself, I agree very much with #3. I think continuing to have healthy hobbies and interests that are not child rearing centered is so important to maintaining a healthy sense of self. And re-defining what a date can be is very helpful. Great point that dates don’t have to be fancy or pre-planned. Some of our best “dates” have been reconnecting and talking about our dreams and goals under the stars in the backyard with a nice glass of wine after the kids have gone to bed. The one thing I’ve found that nurtures a good transition is recognizing each others contributions and being sure to say “I appreciate you and all your hard work” often.