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To birthday party or not to birthday party?

January 18, 2010 By Kelly 96 Comments

http://www.flickr.com/photos/landhere/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

I need your advice. My oldest girl is turning 8 at the end of the month. Last year we talked her out of a big birthday party, and spent the day with a close friend who has a birthday near hers. It was fun (and expensive), but cheaper than a party.

This year she is determined to have a party. With friends from school, from Girl Scouts, and friends from outside of school. I tallied up the number of kids, plus siblings and cousins and came up with roughly 25-30 kids.

Our house is not equipped for a party right now (with a barky puppy, and no real play space), so I started looking at places to host a party.

I’ve called a few places and they cater to smaller parties and almost all the places would be at least $150-200 for about 15 kids. Each additional kid costs $5-10 more. I started doing the math, played with the guest list a bit, but the reality is it will likely cost $250-300 for a party. For an hour and a half. Or approx. $183/hour. Ouch.

I have budgeted about $250 for a party AND gifts. That may seem extravagant in some circles, but considering we buy the kids very little outside of necessities through the year I think it’s reasonable.

This is when having debt sucks. And the worst is she knows it. She’s been to other kid’s parties and seen what they get, how extravagant some are.

So here are my options:

  1. Throw a party off-site, and get a very modest gift for my daughter.
  2. Throw a party at home and use part of the money for getting the house in order to have a party.
  3. Forgo the friend party, and take her somewhere special for her birthday, maybe even an overnight trip.
  4. Forgo the party, and get her a few gifts, take her to her favorite restaurant, and do something fun as a family.
  5. Let her decide.

What would you do? I’d appreciate your advice. I love parties, gifts, and planing events, so this is my kryptonite.

Kelly

About Kelly


Kelly Whalen is the founder and editor of the Centsible Life. She started the blog in 2008 as her family faced a mountain of debt and the fixer upper they purchased became a FIXER UPPER. The website was born out of her desire to share what was working (and what was not) on her family's journey to financial security. Kelly lives in Minneapolis with her family.

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Filed Under: Events, Money Tagged With: birthday party, Events, Money


Comments

  1. Jenn says

    January 25, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    We don't have much space for a big kid party so we have birthdays out at places like Little Gym and most recently a rock climbing gym. For family have a cake and ice cream only, with cheese and crackers but no meal, thing for relatives (this could include the cousins) on one day and then have the birthday party with about 12 friends some time after that. It sucks to have your child limit the number of friends they can invite but unfortunately sometimes it has to be done. I read once the rule of thumb is one friend for every year of age, we've broken that every year but kept it under 15 with her and her sister most years. HTH

  2. Jenn says

    January 25, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    We don't have much space for a big kid party so we have birthdays out at places like Little Gym and most recently a rock climbing gym. For family have a cake and ice cream only, with cheese and crackers but no meal, thing for relatives (this could include the cousins) on one day and then have the birthday party with about 12 friends some time after that. It sucks to have your child limit the number of friends they can invite but unfortunately sometimes it has to be done. I read once the rule of thumb is one friend for every year of age, we've broken that every year but kept it under 15 with her and her sister most years. HTH

  3. sunshine says

    January 25, 2010 at 2:54 am

    When did kids birthday parties get so difficult, expensive and stressful? I'm not sure why so many people have to spend so much on birthday parties. Thinking back to when I was a kid, having kids over to play games, do a craft, perhaps have an overnight party with pizza and cake, was all great fun. Letting your daughter decide within some limited choices is the best idea. Good luck!

  4. sunshine says

    January 25, 2010 at 2:54 am

    When did kids birthday parties get so difficult, expensive and stressful? I'm not sure why so many people have to spend so much on birthday parties. Thinking back to when I was a kid, having kids over to play games, do a craft, perhaps have an overnight party with pizza and cake, was all great fun. Letting your daughter decide within some limited choices is the best idea. Good luck!

  5. Kate says

    January 21, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    A thought regarding your issues with physical space - do you have a family member or friend with a bigger indoor space or basement playroom who might be willing to donate the use of it for the party in return for a favor from you (including your set-up and clean-up)? If you have something to barter with them, this could be a huge savings for you.

    I just came across this in an old issue of Rachel Ray's magazine that was sitting in our work breakroom - what about throwing a slumber party during the day? You use slumber party as the theme - have kids come in their pjs, bring sleeping bags, watch a movie with popcorn, play games, then serve breakfast as dinner and do a big pancake breakfast.

    The other thought I had was asking your daughter to limit the number of guests. Or maybe have one family and one friends party with each held at your house to save. When I think back to when I grew up, I don't remember more than 8-10 guests at any birthday party I had or went to. They were simple - some basic games, a goody bag of candy, presents, pizza and homemade birthday cake. Each kid had basically the same gig until we got to slumber parties when we were in middle school.

  6. Kate says

    January 21, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    A thought regarding your issues with physical space - do you have a family member or friend with a bigger indoor space or basement playroom who might be willing to donate the use of it for the party in return for a favor from you (including your set-up and clean-up)? If you have something to barter with them, this could be a huge savings for you.

    I just came across this in an old issue of Rachel Ray's magazine that was sitting in our work breakroom - what about throwing a slumber party during the day? You use slumber party as the theme - have kids come in their pjs, bring sleeping bags, watch a movie with popcorn, play games, then serve breakfast as dinner and do a big pancake breakfast.

    The other thought I had was asking your daughter to limit the number of guests. Or maybe have one family and one friends party with each held at your house to save. When I think back to when I grew up, I don't remember more than 8-10 guests at any birthday party I had or went to. They were simple - some basic games, a goody bag of candy, presents, pizza and homemade birthday cake. Each kid had basically the same gig until we got to slumber parties when we were in middle school.

  7. melissa says

    January 21, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    we always let our kids choose - a SMALL party or something special with the family. in the fall, gracie wanted to see dolphins, so we went to baltimore overnight and saw the aquarium.
    this year, for ellie's bday, we're going on a trip with the fam, but she is allowed to invite two friends over for a "sleepover party" - so she still feels like a 'party' but its much cheaper!

    (PS - for a cheap party, try the John Pancott Gymnastics in Malvern. Its under $200 for a party for 35!!)

  8. melissa says

    January 21, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    we always let our kids choose - a SMALL party or something special with the family. in the fall, gracie wanted to see dolphins, so we went to baltimore overnight and saw the aquarium.
    this year, for ellie's bday, we're going on a trip with the fam, but she is allowed to invite two friends over for a "sleepover party" - so she still feels like a 'party' but its much cheaper!

    (PS - for a cheap party, try the John Pancott Gymnastics in Malvern. Its under $200 for a party for 35!!)

  9. @clarifinancial says

    January 21, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    I think if she's old enough to know about the family goings-on, then she might be old enough to make this decision on her own. In my experience (and by that, I mean when I was a kid) being asked my opinion about things that were important to me was one way my parents showed they were beginning to respect me as an individual. Even if she chooses the most "juvenile" of those choices, she may be a more mature person for it.

  10. @clarifinancial says

    January 21, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    I think if she's old enough to know about the family goings-on, then she might be old enough to make this decision on her own. In my experience (and by that, I mean when I was a kid) being asked my opinion about things that were important to me was one way my parents showed they were beginning to respect me as an individual. Even if she chooses the most "juvenile" of those choices, she may be a more mature person for it.

  11. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    Good point!

  12. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    Good point!

  13. Russell says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    No kidding! I figure we have at least until she's 4 before there are as many "friends" as family. We'll see…

  14. Russell says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    No kidding! I figure we have at least until she's 4 before there are as many "friends" as family. We'll see…

  15. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    That's the plan!

  16. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    If I limit it to 8 I'd have only family! LOL
    There are 3 cousins who are coming, and 3 siblings, so we're pretty much guaranteed a large party.

  17. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    That's the plan!

  18. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    If I limit it to 8 I'd have only family! LOL
    There are 3 cousins who are coming, and 3 siblings, so we're pretty much guaranteed a large party.

  19. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    Home just isn't an option this year. Our puppy is rather barky, and I'm afraid my head would explode with all the noise!

    That said, we have had fantastic home parties in the past. It is very frugal.

  20. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    Home just isn't an option this year. Our puppy is rather barky, and I'm afraid my head would explode with all the noise!

    That said, we have had fantastic home parties in the past. It is very frugal.

  21. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    I think she is leaning towards option 2.

  22. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    I think she is leaning towards option 2.

  23. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    I wish we could do an outdoor party. As I've said before, another great reason to move somewhere warm year round.

  24. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Lisa,
    Great points! Especially the bit about the extra $ I know she will receive.

    I think my fondest birthday memories involve experiences too, and really she doesn't need more stuff.

  25. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Lisa,
    Great points! Especially the bit about the extra $ I know she will receive.

    I think my fondest birthday memories involve experiences too, and really she doesn't need more stuff.

  26. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    I wish we could do an outdoor party. As I've said before, another great reason to move somewhere warm year round.

  27. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    We have used ACAC before and were really happy with them, even if it was short. We didn't have to do anything! We had a joint party for our girls in February when I had a newborn. It was awesome.

  28. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    We have used ACAC before and were really happy with them, even if it was short. We didn't have to do anything! We had a joint party for our girls in February when I had a newborn. It was awesome.

  29. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    She doesn't skate yet.

  30. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    She doesn't skate yet.

  31. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    It's mainly the dog issue. He would bark constantly, since he always does when new people are in the house. And surprisingly a number of her friends don't do sleepovers.

    Well you could always have a pool party at ACAC, the 12 year old did one year. It was a ton of fun.

  32. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    It's mainly the dog issue. He would bark constantly, since he always does when new people are in the house. And surprisingly a number of her friends don't do sleepovers.

    Well you could always have a pool party at ACAC, the 12 year old did one year. It was a ton of fun.

  33. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    I almost guarantee she will regret her decision at some point, but letting her decide will be a good lesson in what choices mean.

  34. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    I almost guarantee she will regret her decision at some point, but letting her decide will be a good lesson in what choices mean.

  35. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Thanks for sharing the links, Michelle.
    I think she will choose a party.

  36. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Thanks for sharing the links, Michelle.
    I think she will choose a party.

  37. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    Be sure to take your time on throwing a big party with the 2 year old! The longer you can wait, the better off you are!

  38. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    I didn't think of all the gifts she would get, that makes not getting a ton from us easier to bear.
    Sadly outdoors is not an option where we live in January.

  39. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    Be sure to take your time on throwing a big party with the 2 year old! The longer you can wait, the better off you are!

  40. CentsibleLife says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    I didn't think of all the gifts she would get, that makes not getting a ton from us easier to bear.
    Sadly outdoors is not an option where we live in January.

  41. baby shower ideas says

    January 20, 2010 at 3:33 am

    I agree with a lot of others here. I would tell her what the budget is and let her decide how she wants to celebrate. This way, she'll pretty much get what she wants.

  42. baby shower ideas says

    January 20, 2010 at 8:33 am

    I agree with a lot of others here. I would tell her what the budget is and let her decide how she wants to celebrate. This way, she'll pretty much get what she wants.

  43. Andrew Lowry says

    January 19, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    Like others say I like the idea of telling her what the budget is and that includes the party and the gift. She can then decide what she wants to do and who to invite.

    Another option (as if you need more) is tell her that she can have 8 guests thereby making the home party follow the suggestion of the number of guests be the age of the child.
    Good luck.

  44. Andrew Lowry says

    January 19, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    Like others say I like the idea of telling her what the budget is and that includes the party and the gift. She can then decide what she wants to do and who to invite.

    Another option (as if you need more) is tell her that she can have 8 guests thereby making the home party follow the suggestion of the number of guests be the age of the child.
    Good luck.

  45. Kristin says

    January 19, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Hi Kelly!
    I'm a big fan of the home party, if it's going to be with a bigger number of people. Once you decide on a theme, there are a bunch of great websites with ideas and fun things to do and make.

    this is the first year we're doing ours out of the house, since we just moved. We're keeping it small just for that expense alone!

    Good luck and let us know what you decide!

  46. Kristin says

    January 19, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Hi Kelly!
    I'm a big fan of the home party, if it's going to be with a bigger number of people. Once you decide on a theme, there are a bunch of great websites with ideas and fun things to do and make.

    this is the first year we're doing ours out of the house, since we just moved. We're keeping it small just for that expense alone!

    Good luck and let us know what you decide!

  47. Christine Jensen says

    January 19, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    My opinion:
    I would give my child a choice..let her know what you are willing to spend and what you can get for that amount.
    For example:
    Option 1: allow your daughter to choose just one or two close friends and do an all day event with lunch, movie and dessert out together

    Option 2: A limited invitation party (set a limit of say 10-15 kids) thus allowing you to still spend what you feel you need on a gift

    Option 3: The large party she wants but let her know that the party will be her gift from you, instead of a physical gift.

    Or any other way to make your $250 dollar budget work. If the choice is left to your daughter, she can take pride in the fact that she was part of the planning, and you don't have to decide which option she would like best!

  48. Christine Jensen says

    January 19, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    My opinion:
    I would give my child a choice..let her know what you are willing to spend and what you can get for that amount.
    For example:
    Option 1: allow your daughter to choose just one or two close friends and do an all day event with lunch, movie and dessert out together

    Option 2: A limited invitation party (set a limit of say 10-15 kids) thus allowing you to still spend what you feel you need on a gift

    Option 3: The large party she wants but let her know that the party will be her gift from you, instead of a physical gift.

    Or any other way to make your $250 dollar budget work. If the choice is left to your daughter, she can take pride in the fact that she was part of the planning, and you don't have to decide which option she would like best!

  49. Lisa says

    January 19, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    This is a debate we've recently had in our home. My daughter will be 11 on the 29th of this month & our budget is similar to yours. We've opted to have a party and settle for a modest gift. We have explained our choice to her and she is thrilled!

    Our logic was a) she already has everything she needs, and 99.99% of what she wants. b) her birthday wishlist is well within the financial means/budget of Grandparents and other family members (& we plan to drop hints.), and c) she usually gets $$ from her Great-Grandpa; so, anything she doesn't receive for her birthday that she REALLY wanted, she can purchase after her special day.

    When it comes down to it, what will your daughter remember about this day? When she is 25 or 30 years old, will she remember the gift? Probably not. Will she remember the party that all of her favorite people attended (likely some of them will be life-long friends)? Absolutely!

  50. Lisa says

    January 19, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    This is a debate we've recently had in our home. My daughter will be 11 on the 29th of this month & our budget is similar to yours. We've opted to have a party and settle for a modest gift. We have explained our choice to her and she is thrilled!

    Our logic was a) she already has everything she needs, and 99.99% of what she wants. b) her birthday wishlist is well within the financial means/budget of Grandparents and other family members (& we plan to drop hints.), and c) she usually gets $$ from her Great-Grandpa; so, anything she doesn't receive for her birthday that she REALLY wanted, she can purchase after her special day.

    When it comes down to it, what will your daughter remember about this day? When she is 25 or 30 years old, will she remember the gift? Probably not. Will she remember the party that all of her favorite people attended (likely some of them will be life-long friends)? Absolutely!

  51. Craig Kessler says

    January 19, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    My mom used to have a lot of home made birthday parties for me when I was young. Soccer tournaments, or parties in the back yard with tons of games and teams. At the time they were exciting and the kids enjoyed it, and they were cheap.

  52. Craig Kessler says

    January 19, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    My mom used to have a lot of home made birthday parties for me when I was young. Soccer tournaments, or parties in the back yard with tons of games and teams. At the time they were exciting and the kids enjoyed it, and they were cheap.

  53. Jenn says

    January 19, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Maybe offer to do a small party now and a bigger half birthday outside at a park for all of her friends. We split family from the friends because it just gets to crazy to be inside our house( its tiny). I feel your pain I too am headed into party mode we decided on ACAC and we have a guest list of 28…. I even had to limit it to just school and our 1st cousins. But yep it will run us with food over $300 but it boils down to a fond memory and cute pictures. I have high hopes for next year being smaller:) Good luck

  54. Jenn says

    January 19, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Maybe offer to do a small party now and a bigger half birthday outside at a park for all of her friends. We split family from the friends because it just gets to crazy to be inside our house( its tiny). I feel your pain I too am headed into party mode we decided on ACAC and we have a guest list of 28…. I even had to limit it to just school and our 1st cousins. But yep it will run us with food over $300 but it boils down to a fond memory and cute pictures. I have high hopes for next year being smaller:) Good luck

  55. Hayden Tompkins says

    January 19, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Do her and her friends not roller skate? All you need is a roller rink and a cake! The rest kind of takes care of itself.

  56. Hayden Tompkins says

    January 19, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Do her and her friends not roller skate? All you need is a roller rink and a cake! The rest kind of takes care of itself.

  57. Michelle says

    January 19, 2010 at 2:47 am

    I know that you are probably not Mormon…however I am always impressed with what creative and cost effective ideas my friends family could come up with.

    Here are two birthday party link ideas: http://www.mormonchic.com/mommy/birthday_party_id… and http://www.mormonchic.com/mommy/bday-parties2.asp

    It sounds like she wants a party and a gift-ha ha ha.

    I would go with the party..it maybe chaotic, but why not have part of it in the garage or something?

    150 on party and 75 on gifts.

    I don't have kids and I can imagine that it would be nuts trying to balance it out. But remember the things which we look back upon most is having a good time…and that doesn't have to be something that is over the top.

    Good luck.

  58. Michelle says

    January 19, 2010 at 2:47 am

    I know that you are probably not Mormon…however I am always impressed with what creative and cost effective ideas my friends family could come up with.

    Here are two birthday party link ideas: http://www.mormonchic.com/mommy/birthday_party_id… and http://www.mormonchic.com/mommy/bday-parties2.asp

    It sounds like she wants a party and a gift-ha ha ha.

    I would go with the party..it maybe chaotic, but why not have part of it in the garage or something?

    150 on party and 75 on gifts.

    I don't have kids and I can imagine that it would be nuts trying to balance it out. But remember the things which we look back upon most is having a good time…and that doesn't have to be something that is over the top.

    Good luck.

  59. Liz says

    January 19, 2010 at 6:40 am

    Yeah, I was thinking sleepover is ideal for her age. DD did one last year, with three friends, and it went really well. I stayed down in the family room with them the whole time, and they were good about not being too loud, and eventually they all went to sleep! (eventually)

    Honestly, I don't see why you couldn't do it in your house - it's not set up much different than mine.

    DD has just one really close friend, so we just made a list of the others and invited down the list until we got a total of three "yes" answers.

    As a December birthday, I can tell you that I was always jealous of the kids who got to have their parties outside or at a pool.

  60. Liz says

    January 19, 2010 at 6:40 am

    Yeah, I was thinking sleepover is ideal for her age. DD did one last year, with three friends, and it went really well. I stayed down in the family room with them the whole time, and they were good about not being too loud, and eventually they all went to sleep! (eventually)

    Honestly, I don't see why you couldn't do it in your house - it's not set up much different than mine.

    DD has just one really close friend, so we just made a list of the others and invited down the list until we got a total of three "yes" answers.

    As a December birthday, I can tell you that I was always jealous of the kids who got to have their parties outside or at a pool.

  61. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:50 am

    Thanks, Lauren. As always great advice. She's leaning towards a small group, and a decent sized present, though I need to talk her out of getting a TV for her room!

  62. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 5:50 am

    Thanks, Lauren. As always great advice. She's leaning towards a small group, and a decent sized present, though I need to talk her out of getting a TV for her room!

  63. Bucksome Boomer says

    January 19, 2010 at 4:43 am

    I like the idea of letting her decide. You mentioned you're afraid she'll regret her decision. Maybe she will, but either way she'll be in charge of the result.

  64. Bucksome Boomer says

    January 19, 2010 at 4:43 am

    I like the idea of letting her decide. You mentioned you're afraid she'll regret her decision. Maybe she will, but either way she'll be in charge of the result.

  65. Russell says

    January 19, 2010 at 1:31 am

    I've experienced this situation through friends & relatives and a pizza party at the movies could fit the budget. I have one child turning 2 soon, and I've already started thinking about these future issues. Good luck!

  66. Russell says

    January 19, 2010 at 1:31 am

    I've experienced this situation through friends & relatives and a pizza party at the movies could fit the budget. I have one child turning 2 soon, and I've already started thinking about these future issues. Good luck!

  67. Rachel says

    January 19, 2010 at 1:12 am

    I would definitely have a party for her. It's the one day out of the year which is totally about her, and for her age right now, these are the golden times for birthday parties. As she gets older, they will become smaller and less significant. Let her decide where she wants it, and if it's the outside place with all the friends, just give her a smaller gift, if one at all. With 25-30 kids coming and most if not all bringing gifts, will she even notice one less one from you guys? Good luck!

  68. Rachel says

    January 19, 2010 at 1:12 am

    I would definitely have a party for her. It's the one day out of the year which is totally about her, and for her age right now, these are the golden times for birthday parties. As she gets older, they will become smaller and less significant. Let her decide where she wants it, and if it's the outside place with all the friends, just give her a smaller gift, if one at all. With 25-30 kids coming and most if not all bringing gifts, will she even notice one less one from you guys? Good luck!

  69. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:54 am

    Derek, you and Erica had the similar ideas. Unfortunately late January in PA is not outdoor party weather otherwise I would do it in our backyard or neighborhood park in a heartbeat!

  70. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:54 am

    Derek, you and Erica had the similar ideas. Unfortunately late January in PA is not outdoor party weather otherwise I would do it in our backyard or neighborhood park in a heartbeat!

  71. Eric says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:53 am

    I'd opt for something for as many of her friends as possible-it doesn't matter where it is. That many kids in one place will make their own party.

  72. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:53 am

    That's a great idea! I wish we had stuck with that when they were younger. We have the last 2 years, but it still always seems CRAZY!

  73. Eric says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:53 am

    I'd opt for something for as many of her friends as possible-it doesn't matter where it is. That many kids in one place will make their own party.

  74. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:53 am

    That's a great idea! I wish we had stuck with that when they were younger. We have the last 2 years, but it still always seems CRAZY!

  75. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:52 am

    You are simple and to the point! I think it'd be easier if she was slightly more mature. I'm worried she'll regret her decision.

  76. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:52 am

    You are simple and to the point! I think it'd be easier if she was slightly more mature. I'm worried she'll regret her decision.

  77. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:51 am

    Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm pitching her on a trip, but she says she thinks it's too cold.

    I'm not ready for sleepovers yet! We need a soundproofed, finished basement first!

  78. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:51 am

    Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm pitching her on a trip, but she says she thinks it's too cold.

    I'm not ready for sleepovers yet! We need a soundproofed, finished basement first!

  79. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:49 am

    We live in PA, so outside is not an option at the end of January. Let that be fair warning to anyone who lives in a temperate climate who doesn't have kids yet. Waiting until May or June will save you hundreds of dollars on birthday parties alone!

  80. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:49 am

    We live in PA, so outside is not an option at the end of January. Let that be fair warning to anyone who lives in a temperate climate who doesn't have kids yet. Waiting until May or June will save you hundreds of dollars on birthday parties alone!

  81. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:48 am

    I like the idea of the party as a gift. I wish she had more of a core group of friends, I think it would be tough for her to choose just 3 or 4 girls, she's so social!

  82. CentsibleLife says

    January 19, 2010 at 12:48 am

    I like the idea of the party as a gift. I wish she had more of a core group of friends, I think it would be tough for her to choose just 3 or 4 girls, she's so social!

  83. Craig says

    January 18, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    At 8 we had a small party at home where she could invite a handful of close friends. We set it up so they could do a craft project. then we had family and close friends come over afterward (our son's b-day is around the same time so we have been combining the family portion).

    When she was turning 9 we had a bowling party and she was able to invite about 5 friends. This year (b-day also the end of this month) we are having a roller skating party but still only about 8 friends. the costs are starting to add up but we try to keep them modest.

    As for gift, we feel that the party is a gift and out daughter understand this and is happy to have the party.

    The way we see it, if we start out with extravagant parties at a young age then where does that lead to later on?

  84. Erica Douglass says

    January 18, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    When I was a kid we'd often have parties at the state park next to a local lake. Plenty of swimming and other fun activities for kids.

    -Erica

  85. Craig says

    January 18, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    At 8 we had a small party at home where she could invite a handful of close friends. We set it up so they could do a craft project. then we had family and close friends come over afterward (our son's b-day is around the same time so we have been combining the family portion).

    When she was turning 9 we had a bowling party and she was able to invite about 5 friends. This year (b-day also the end of this month) we are having a roller skating party but still only about 8 friends. the costs are starting to add up but we try to keep them modest.

    As for gift, we feel that the party is a gift and out daughter understand this and is happy to have the party.

    The way we see it, if we start out with extravagant parties at a young age then where does that lead to later on?

  86. ericabiz says

    January 18, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    When I was a kid we'd often have parties at the state park next to a local lake. Plenty of swimming and other fun activities for kids.

    -Erica

  87. Lauren says

    January 18, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    I'd let her make a choice, but be careful about giving her too many choices too…That can be overwhelming. We (you know:) ) did the special day, no big party last year, and this year we are doing a big party… too big actually, and she knows that most of her birthday present from us IS the party. We have a few small things for her, but with 30+ kids (who knew they'd all be able to come!!) coming, we're going to be overwhelmed with gifts, and will have to deal with that clutter later. Whatever you decide, I know one little girl who would love to see her buddy on her birthday, Whatever she decides:)

  88. Lauren says

    January 18, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    I'd let her make a choice, but be careful about giving her too many choices too…That can be overwhelming. We (you know:) ) did the special day, no big party last year, and this year we are doing a big party… too big actually, and she knows that most of her birthday present from us IS the party. We have a few small things for her, but with 30+ kids (who knew they'd all be able to come!!) coming, we're going to be overwhelmed with gifts, and will have to deal with that clutter later. Whatever you decide, I know one little girl who would love to see her buddy on her birthday, Whatever she decides:)

  89. hchybinski says

    January 18, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    Tough - isn't it?? We did similar this past year - our son turned 9 - I offered him a party with friends - or a 2 night trip to OC, NJ. . .he picked the trip without a second thought. Even though we probably spent a bit more - it was something the entire family enjoyed. For gifts - we bought him a hermit crab at the beach (he wanted one SO badly) and then a modest gift he got with a cake when we got home (on his actual birthday).

    My advice - lay out the options, , ,let her decide. . .clear up any misconceptions she may have - and if she asks you what you think - be prepared with an answer. I am at an age where all my birthday parties were at my house - when I was 8-9, they became sleepovers - and they were alwasy torture for some poor girl that got made fun or or was left out. . .but home parties can be a lot of fun and relatively inexpensive. . .does she have a "best" friend with a mom you like? Maybe she could come over and help you out with treats, an activity, etc.

    Not sure if that helps - let me know how it goes.
    Hillary

  90. hchybinski says

    January 18, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    Tough - isn't it?? We did similar this past year - our son turned 9 - I offered him a party with friends - or a 2 night trip to OC, NJ. . .he picked the trip without a second thought. Even though we probably spent a bit more - it was something the entire family enjoyed. For gifts - we bought him a hermit crab at the beach (he wanted one SO badly) and then a modest gift he got with a cake when we got home (on his actual birthday).

    My advice - lay out the options, , ,let her decide. . .clear up any misconceptions she may have - and if she asks you what you think - be prepared with an answer. I am at an age where all my birthday parties were at my house - when I was 8-9, they became sleepovers - and they were alwasy torture for some poor girl that got made fun or or was left out. . .but home parties can be a lot of fun and relatively inexpensive. . .does she have a "best" friend with a mom you like? Maybe she could come over and help you out with treats, an activity, etc.

    Not sure if that helps - let me know how it goes.
    Hillary

  91. Kasson says

    January 18, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    Be honest about the situation and let her decide.

  92. Kasson says

    January 18, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    Be honest about the situation and let her decide.

  93. Jennifer Y. says

    January 18, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    Well… I read an article once a looooong time ago, so I forget the author/publication. It was all about this. Crazy big birthday parties, kid's expectations, etc. Their suggestion was this. Give your child a budget and let them plan the party/activity. Not sure if 8 years old is old enough for this, but you could probably help with the research. Say, you give her a budget of $100. She can plan whatever party she wants within that budget. That way she will have a real appreciation of how far (or not so far!) $100 goes. You could take it a step further and tell her that anything she doesn't spend would be hers to keep (in a savings account or whatever you decide).

  94. Jennifer Y. says

    January 18, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    Well… I read an article once a looooong time ago, so I forget the author/publication. It was all about this. Crazy big birthday parties, kid's expectations, etc. Their suggestion was this. Give your child a budget and let them plan the party/activity. Not sure if 8 years old is old enough for this, but you could probably help with the research. Say, you give her a budget of $100. She can plan whatever party she wants within that budget. That way she will have a real appreciation of how far (or not so far!) $100 goes. You could take it a step further and tell her that anything she doesn't spend would be hers to keep (in a savings account or whatever you decide).

  95. Derek says

    January 18, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    This might be dependent on where you live due to weather but..

    Look into local / state parks. Growing up in Florida I've been to plenty of parties / BBQs at parks. You can forgo or reduce a lot of the costs. Costs nothing to rent, first come first serve for pavilions. Fairly cheap to do a BBQ for food rather than having it catered / supplied. Easy solution for outdoor events: frisbee, any kind of ball game, potato sack races, etc.

  96. Derek says

    January 18, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    This might be dependent on where you live due to weather but..

    Look into local / state parks. Growing up in Florida I've been to plenty of parties / BBQs at parks. You can forgo or reduce a lot of the costs. Costs nothing to rent, first come first serve for pavilions. Fairly cheap to do a BBQ for food rather than having it catered / supplied. Easy solution for outdoor events: frisbee, any kind of ball game, potato sack races, etc.

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Hi! I'm Kelly Whalen, writer, frugality expert, debt slayer, and money nerd. Welcome to the Centsible Life, my corner of the internet, where I help women live happier, healthier, and wealthier lives. My goal is to help you save time + money, so you can spend both how you want.

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