If you’ve noticed a lack of Fashion Friday posts on the blog in the last several weeks I have a few good reasons. I could chalk it up to summertime, work that’s being done on the house, and an overly full inbox and monster to do list. But the real reason lies in how I’ve been feeling about myself. I am really struggling with the fun side of fashion right now because I’m heavier than I’ve ever been.
I know many people can relate to the struggle that it is to stay fit, but it’s something that’s newer to me. The only way I struggled as a kid and young woman was keeping ON weight. My metabolism was super fast and I was one of those people that was just naturally thin. I was sick my senior year of high school and one of the ways I got better was through eating healthy and organic foods. My body needed clean food to help fuel it, and I’ve always been a big believer in food being the best medicine for our bodies. Fast forward to age 30 and my 4th child and things suddenly shifted. I never bounced back from his birth officially. I struggled with pelvic and hip pain which took months to get better. From then on the scale would go up and down and up and up and down as I struggled with working, raising the kids, and all the to dos that come along with life. It probably didn’t help that I had a neck injury that caused constant pain for months. It definitely didn’t help that I started to eat more junk. It was really bad when I sunk into depression and packed on the pounds on a medication I was taking. Trying a new medication helped me slim down, but then I went back up again when that medication had to be stopped (due to other side effects).
Now I’m 30+ pounds over the weight I feel most comfortable at, and while I know other people don’t see it the way I feel it, it’s hard to dress a new body shape. It’s hard to go try things on when you see yourself in the mirror and don’t like the way you look. Moreso when you don’t like the way you feel. It’s definitely not on the top of my list to take photos of myself or pick out clothes I can’t wear.
I know I’m supposed to love myself, and I know it sets up a bad example for my own children that I struggle in my own skin, but I can’t just turn on the love for myself without putting in the effort to be fit and healthy. I need to focus on taking better care of myself-it’s not just about that number on the scale after all. I feel better when I take care of myself.
I’m writing about it today, both because I want to explain a bit about why I haven’t been writing fashion posts, and because I need to say it somewhere where I can keep myself accountable. Eating right, exercising more, and getting proper sleep are all a priority for me right now.
So, I’ll be back with fashion posts for the kids next week and maybe some more fashion posts soon if only to share where you can find affordable in-between clothes while you’re on your own journey to getting fit.
Until then I’ll be here putting one foot in front of the other.