Wine.
Beer.
Cocktails. (does anyone else think that’s a weird name?)
Booze.
It has different names, but it’s all alcohol. To some of us it sounds tasty, to others we could care less.
As a parent though, the words alcohol and kids in the same sentence worry me. The statistics are scary-car accidents, death, poor judgement…the list goes on and on. All are tied to one thing: alcohol. While I’d love to stick my head in the sand and believe my kids won’t drink while they are underage I know that’s not any effective means of parenting.
Instead we talk. In our house the conversation surrounding alcohol has not centered on ‘grown-up’ drinks or moderation, but on the very real dangers of addiction and impairment that can happen with alcohol use. Keeping in mind their ages, and keeping the conversation on their level we have discussed it with each of children. We expect that as they get older and more socially active, driving on their own (I don’t even want to think about it!) that the conversations will become more frequent.
One of the fine lines with parenting has always been how much independence we give our children. Each of our kids is unique in their own way so they each have various levels of independence. As they get older they become more and more independent, but that doesn’t mean we are more hands off.
I talk about this often to other parents, but having been in the baby/toddler trenches so long I have been astounded to realize how much more demanding having an older child can be. While they are little it’s all about being physical (changing diapers, feedings, naptimes), but as they get older it’s all about talking, communicating, and teaching them the life skills they need. It also means talking about subjects that seem taboo or awkward to address including sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. Ok not the last one, I like their music, that just sounded good.
I’ve talked before about monitoring the kids computer usage, and one of the things I feel strongly about as a parent is that my children need to be monitored and checked in with frequently. For many parents this may seem like an invasion of privacy, but I believe the kids have to earn the right to have more privacy by showing us through their actions that they are responsible and accountable.
Enter Soberlink, the first home test kit that allows you to check in with your child no matter where they are. Soberlink sends the blood alcohol limit and a photo of the person taking the test.
While not everyone will agree with this approach we think taking an approach that’s more proactive, and making alcohol not a part of our day to day lives will help our kids make the right choices in life. While I do drink on occasion (even sometimes at home) my husband does not drink.
We also have a “Do tell, don’t ask,” policy with the kids. We will tell the kids (as my parents did) that they can call us anytime, anywhere and we will pick them up. We may not ask questions that night, but you can be sure I’ll be blaring trumpet music in their ear at 6am the next morning so they can get up and scrub the toilet with a toothbrush.
How do you talk to your kids about alcohol?
Kelly
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post for Soberlink. all opinions are my own.
Exactly. Each child will need a different approach-it can get exhausting! I definitely think monitoring will be the key to success for some kids. There is no one size fits all solution, but I do think using technology to help monitor kids can be helpful as they grow from kids to young adults. It’s such a tricky time in life!
Great point Shannon. We try to be as open as we can without overwhelming the kids with info they don’t need. Definitely a tricky balance.
Thanks! I can’t say I invented it, but it works for me. 🙂
It’s definitely something that comes up earlier these days for kids especially in school. I really like the idea of Soberlink as a means to build trust between teens and parents.
I have to agree with Kelly that you need to lead by example and that it is more important to talk with your child and educate them to make good choices and the consequences of bad ones than to monitor them, but know that no two kids are the same and there is no cookie-cutter approach to success.
I think that open communications and honesty are the absolute best policy about EVERYTHING when it comes to the kids and alcohol is no exception. I love your “Do tell, dont ask” policy, Kelly.
This is a great point, Kelly. I hadn’t thought much about it since my kids are still young. They have seen me have a glass or wine or my husband a beer though not often. They know that you’re not allowed to drink and drive because it’s dangerous, and that’s about it. This gadget sounds like a winner.
Barb, I found out the kids are learning about it in school starting around 7! The belief I think is to start the conversation while they are young.
I have seen the devastating effects of alcoholism and addiction, and it is a painful thing to see someone suffer through-especially for the family members. I agree with laying it all out for kids at that age. It’s important to know how susceptible they may be just because of their genes.
You mean you don’t tell them it’s “Mommy’s special sauce?” Must just be me. 😉 Kidding, of course.
They’re too little to discuss, but I’m all for this SoberLink gadget. It’s supah-smart.
I think if it’s your ‘normal’ to drink at home, it will be ‘normal’ for your kids to drink once they are of age. While my parents drank it was never a part of our everyday life. I think they still have some bottles of liquor that are older than me!
I totally understand his viewpoint, but agree with you. It’s just too easy for drinking to become ‘normal’ and then that filtering over into behavior away from home.
College is the biggest concern for me because alcohol is so accesible to many underage kids.
So far, I’ve only discussed alcohol with my oldest who is 15. Unfortunately, the reality for my children is that the first drink may be the only drink where they get to make a choice, with a recovering alcoholic for a father, and alcoholism on both sides of the family. I was extremely honest with ds15, and laid out the facts. He has to know the risk he faces. He is strong-minded and actually good at saying no. I just worry because of what I’ve experienced.
For the other kids, I try to talk about taking care of our bodies and making choices. We talk a lot about nutrition and exercise.
I do talk to my kids about alcohol. We do drink at home (it never occurred for me not to.) My husband and I are in a middle of a disagreement right now because I strongly feel that “not one drop until you’re 21!” and he thinks that it’s not outrageous for older teenagers to have a glass of wine at home. There are definitely merits to both points of view. Except mine is right and his is wrong.