Instead of doing anything productive I was on twitter. I meet a lot of people who either tool their eyes or stare at me quizzically when I mention the words “social media,” so that inspired me to use my time to share this list of characteristics of social media type people.
10 Characteristics of the social media species (Latin term: amicabiliter interventus sapien)
- Short attention span.
- Keeps unusual hours.
- Likes to talk in 140 characters.
- Must always have something to type on or will suffer intense withdrawal.
- Despite an editorial calendar, deadlines and commitments while often procrastinate until the last minute.
- Says the are working, but really they are reading tweets, blog posts, and Skyping with so-called “friends”.
- “Friends” are people they’ve never seen in person, and when asked about their friends the social media person will say, “They get it. It’s so nice to be around people who understand.”
- May slightly misrepresent their appearance in their avatar or profile photo via airbrushing, photoshop or cartoon features. Occasionally will replace avatar with something like a logo.
- Often starts lists they can’t finish.
How to approach a member of the Social Media species
If you see a social media type in the wild, use the word “tweet,” not “twat”, “twit”, or “twittered,” and be sure to approach the social media species without making eye contact. Also be sure to ask them their handle instead of their name, and what their blog is-this is key to your survival.
If at all possible bring along an iPhone 4 or other smartphone and make like you are typing on it.
Offers of caffeine IVs, and cupcakes are another way to blend in, but be sure to deliver.
If the social media person still doesn’t trust you mention Old Spice man and his viral videos on YouTube in glowing terms.
Remember, not all social media people bite, but they all tweet, so be careful what you say.
Have you spotted a social media person in the wild?
Disclosure: This is what social media people say when they are paid money.