It’s been some time since I’ve shared a personal update, and I thought it was as good a time as any to share. While the website is mainly devoted to helping you live a more centsible life I know that sometimes readers want a peek behind the curtain to know more about me.
I started sharing more personal updates in recent years and you all have been so very, very kind that I’m moved to share these more often.
There is so much I’ve wanted to say in recent weeks that this will likely end up being a hodge podge of thoughts, so grab a cup of coffee or tea and let’s catch up.
The Weight Of The World
I titled this post weighty matters for a number of reasons, the biggest being the weight of the world lately. There is so much to it-Charleston is at the heart of it now, but there are also dozens of other stories out there in the world. Death, terrorism, ecological disasters, racism, sexism, cultural shifts that are painful, financial ruin–it’s there at every turn.
There is just so much of it all at once that it can often feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. My shoulders carrying too much it seems. It’s a funny thing this heart and brain that I have. They make for an interesting combination of seriousness and logic with a lot of sensitivity and love. I can feel that pain-so visceral, even if it’s not my experience. I can see it. I can almost touch it. It erases my ability to see things in a light-hearted way. I have no tolerance for light when there is darkness closing around us all. The logical side of doesn’t understand the darkness, but I can’t let it go either. I can see the good, but I get consumed by the pain and suffering. The pain I can’t take away. That none of us can fix on our own.
I do what I can. I can empathize. I can help. I can donate. I can give my time. I listen a lot. I read everything I can. I talk to people who are advocates, who have a voice, who know what is needed when I do not.
The Weight Of Suicide
This past weekend I walked overnight to raise funds and awareness for suicide prevention. I have so many words, so many photos, so many things to share, but now I’m still processing it all. It’s SUCH an emotional journey made more so by the pouring rain this year.
I can’t describe it just yet. That feeling of walking with over 2,500 people who have been touched in some way by suicide. The knowledge that we raised nearly three million dollars is amazing and astounding, but we still have so much more to do.
The Weight Of Love
There is no longer a scale that measures whose love is worth what in our country. Everyone has an equal right to marry. It doesn’t matter if you love someone whose gender is the same as yours or someone with a different race-everyone can get married today. Everyone has an equal shot at happiness in love.
Many friends shared photos of their gorgeous interracial families in honor of Loving Day on June 12th. In 1967 the Supreme Court ruled that couples of different races could legally marry. It’s both poignant and kind of wonderful that the couple fighting for that right was named Loving. Read more on Wikipedia about them.
And of course more recently on Friday gay marriage became simply marriage. No longer a separate thing-no longer ruled on by states. It’s now legal everywhere in the US. It was beautiful to see messages from friends who have been waiting for this day.
It’s amazing for me as a parent to think that my kids are growing up in a world where everyone can get married-to them it’s the new normal.
The world is a complicated place to live in. The good stuff is oh so good (marriage equality for all), but the bad stuff is oh so terrifying (Charleston). But I’m here. I’m crying, I’m laughing, I’m living, and I’m SO much loving the people in my life now. I’m holding on.
Life feels like a scary carnival ride at the moment-like it might come apart at the seams, the joints and bolts, and people flying off in a rain of bodies, metal, and machinery. But then the ride slows for a moment and you’re not scared anymore-you know the ride is going to come to an end at some point, and while you look forward to that at points, mostly you just don’t want the ride to ever stop. It’s too terrifying and fun, good and bad, stomach-churning and smile-inducing to ever end.