Yesterday my oldest child turned 18. 18. Officially an adult. Oof. I think everyone expects that to mean he’s suddenly a young adult, but adulting doesn’t work that way. It’s not a switch you turn on all of the sudden -blink- and you’re an adult. In fact I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I mean since you’ve been there yourself. And of course the parenting doesn’t end. I don’t get to brush off my hands, pat myself on the back, and be done. I’m just parenting someone who is legally an adult now.
At 18 I thought I knew exactly the path I wanted to be on, but boy was I wrong! Life and our hearts change and grow (at least they should!) so much over time that what we think we should do at 18 is usually wrong. And who we think we are at 18? We’re usually so far off base it’s laughable. As an aside I’m sure 80 year old me will look back on 39 year old me and laugh at what I thought life would be, too.
Nathan is a great, great kid. But he isn’t a fan of me waxing poetic about him or parenthood so I’ll save that for my journal. Instead I will extend to you the same thing I asked of many friends-
What would you tell 18 year old you?
I would love if you’d share with me in the comments. I’m collecting them for him. And me. Because I’m learning that letting go is pretty hard.
My advice to my 18 year old self would probably be pretty simple: Be you.
Kelly
Kelly, the list is so long. It has taken years for me to figure out that if we do not take take care of our own physical and mental needs, we are not able to take care of the ones we love. Each day is a new beginning and we have the ability to make it beautiful. If we find at least one thing in each day that is beautiful we can make it through anything regardless of what life is throwing at us.
There are so many things I’d tell my 18-year old self if I could. I’d tell myself to let things go and not hold on to them so tightly. I’d encourage my younger self to travel more and not be so concerned about “the future” and just enjoy the present. I’d tell myself to spend more time with my mom and ask her all the questions I think I’ll be able to ask her later on in life. I’d tell myself not to worry so much and believe that everything would be just fine. I’d also tell myself to keep a journal so my older self can look back and realize that life really was pretty grand “back in the day”.
Congratulations to your son on turning 18!
All great advice! I especially like the advice to allow time to make good choices. Sometimes we need a pause button before we decide.
Such great advice! Thank you!
Focus on today.
This week, I wrote a post and co-hosted a twitter party that was all about planning for your future and envisioning your future self. And that’s important–it’s good to try to see your future and strive for things. But we can’t get so caught up in it that we forget about today. Who are you today? What do you hope to achieve now? What can you do today that will make you proud? What are you doing right now that’s making you smile and enjoy life?
Yes, tomorrow is incredibly important, but don’t get so caught up in it that you forget to celebrate today.
Keep pushing forward. Allow enough time to make good choices. Be a good friend. Enjoy life!